Salmon Fishing In the Yemen

This movie felt more like a government subsidized welfare project put out with the help of CBS Films, than a good movie.  The characters are vague, the story is a stretch, and I left early.

Being a fan of Ewan McGregor did not help me sit through the film.  I was so lost with the roles and characters bythe end of the first 'segment' of the film, I became frustrated and disinterested.  There are a dozen people talking and emailing and working on a fishing project in Yemen.  The weather and water flow made it sound like a Department of Fish and Game hearing on an environmental impact project.  How fun does this sound?

I can't give it more than 1 out of 5 Cyclones.  Maybe if a friend rents it in the future, I can reevaluate the film.  But with a sponsor like Grace Hill Media for promotion of the film, the messages came through loud and clear what kind of film I might be stepping into.  And step into 'it' I did, and getting out if it I did just as quickly.

CycloneMovies.com Critic

Being Flynn

This is not for everyone.  It is a looooong story about a son and his father (the Flynn's).  Robert DeNiro plays dad, Jonathan, and Paul Dano plays the role of son, Nick.  Jonathan struggles with mental health and alcoholism.  We watch his gradual (rapid) demise from loss of a job, to life in a shelter, to homelessness, and so on.  Nick hasn't seen his dad for almost two decades and aspires to be nothing like him, but the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. 

The story drags on.  It is tough to maintain focus on the film.  It is better served as a book than a film, but if you enjoy a drama with some tough messages and situations, the film is worth a night, by yourself, at the theatre.  Don't try and take others with you that want a blockbuster hit, this will not impress them.

It is a tough sell.  because I like dramas, and enjoy a good story, I can give Bring Flynn 3 out of 5 Cyclones, but I won't be taking guests with me the next time I see it.

Wrath of the Titans

The 3D version is all post production, but it is nice to watch with the HD clarity. Go ahead and pay the difference on this one.  Without it, the movie may not be worth the cost to attend.

This is a follow up to Clash of the Titans.  The monsters are intense, and the animation is well done.  The story is clear, but at times becomes a bit complex with all the gods and monsters and their frustrations and histories. 

It is what was expected from the saga.  I didn't know what else I wanted or expected to see, so absent the Kraken and Medusa, I was satisfied.  The battles were a bit trivialized and the carnage and seriousness were mitigated.  We don't get to see as much of the monsters as we want, they are flashed by and always seemed to be covered and moving around, so the animation is a bit "muted".

It is PG-13 from beginning to end.  Kids and parents (who enjoyed the original) can all go an see this.  A bit much for the little ones, but hey, it is your call.  Wrath of the Titans will pull 3 out of 5 Cyclones for giving us just what we expected.

-CycloneMovies.com Critic

Ted - Seth MacFarlane's voice and Mark Wahlberg's presence

Ted is about a "live" teddy bear named Ted, and his "owner" John, played by Mark Wahlberg.  They throw Mila Kunis in there for looks, but that is all she is worth, in any of her films.

MacFarlane goes out for a creative stab at his first film, and it is funny.  It is NOT Family Guy or his Cavalcade of Comedy, but the laughs are consistent and abundant with a similar type of humor as we have come to love and expect.  The acting by Wahlberg and some of the supporting crew is enjoyable, but not enough to make people go see this movie a few times.  Ted smokes weed, does drugs, has a foul mouth and is anything except a child's toy.  Get ready to LEAVE THE KIDS AT HOME for this movie.

Trying to wrap the movie up was a bit of a struggle.  Was it because viewers don't want it to end or is is because MacFarlane didn't know how to end it?  It all ties together, and I suppose I am just disappointed in a majority of the endings, but I wanted something clever.  MacFarlane is a brilliant write and creator, but this one doesn't end like many of his cartoons and creations.

Bottom line: good, but not great; funny, but not over the top; humor, but not shock and awe.  It is going to draw the college and those who need a release from the everyday grind.  It will not draw a huge range.  They limited the screening (with MacFarlane in attendance at Century Greenback) to 17-49 years of age.  That is all that should attend.  In theatres July 13th.

Ted will pull a strong 3 out of 5 Cyclones.

Thin Ice - Kinnear is walking on it.

The movie is about a low end business man struggling to survive and being "in a position" to upgrade his status and way of life.  It has the feel of Cedar Rapids, Fargo, Rum Diary (Coen Brothers very well could have done this one with Johnny Depp in Greg Kinnear's role) and other dramas along those lines.  We get taken on a roller coaster ride by a meth addict, insurance salesman, senior citizens, locals and out of towners in this drama.

The movie seems to be written to keep people in their seats and hoping for the best (or worst) for the characters on the screen.  The ending(s) come as a surprise and pleasure.  Audience members seemed to be of near-retirement age and enjoyed the films based on exiting chatter and intermovie chit-chat.  Not much in the way of action or suspense, but well worth the time in theatres.  Acting and story are top end!

Thin Ice pulls a weaker 4 out of 5 Cyclones.


-CycloneMovies.com Critic

The Lorax - Better if there was acid in the popcorn?

The folks showing up smoking a bong or joint enjoyed this movie and laughed through the entire hour and a half!  Being sober and bloated with popcorn, I still enjoyed it.  It was fine to watch in 2D, not necessary to pay for in 3D (i saw both versions).

The movie embraces the childhood book.  The characters embody the roots of their speakers, and the story, colors and comedy are all there for viewers of all ages to enjoy.  The musical agenda was the only thing that fell short, until the final track.  The animation was clean and clear.  The characters were well understood and even the body language spoke volumes on it's own.  Well done for an animated story.  It almost lived up to the ranks of last year's Rango.

Take the kids, adult kids, parents and grandparents if you have the time.  Spring Break is coming and maybe you can find it in economical second run theatre for added value.  Either way, The Lorax was able to brign me back to my roots without loosing too much of "mom's voice" or the real value of Dr. Seuss.  4 out of 5 Cyclones for The Lorax.


-CycloneMovies.com

Can U Feel It - The UMF Experience

This feature is about the Ultra (Electronic) Music Festival, held in Miami, FL each year.  The focus is on house / electronic music.  It is put into theatres by Fathom Events.  It is crowd specific, targeting those who enjoy house music. 

Given the target audience, many of them walked out of the movie within the first hour.  That was unfortunate, because it started to pick up and I can only assume what many viewers came to see was the music festival itself. We got some of that during the second hour, but the first hour was self promotion and egotistical narcissists enjoying their moments on camera.  Too bad, because it detracted from what could have been produced and made into a marketable feature.

Viewers did get to meet artists through interviews, see some of the scenes from this huge gathering, note some new talent, and enjoy the limited two day opportunity to see the film on the big screen, but there wasn't much else to enjoy

There were limited moments of being able to sit back and relax to enjoy the sounds, like many of us were able to enjoy in the Michael Jackson and the Justin Bieber features of the past few years. This production will most likely be best enjoyed by those who want to pirate it and download it from a torrent site.  After sitting through it, I know I would be unwilling to pay $1(.20) to get it from Redbox if it makes it to DVD.

Can U Feel It will pull 2 out of 5 Cyclones.

Silent House - is merely a mediocre remake, and very safe.

Elizabeth Olsen gets her follow up lead in Silent House.  Her last primary role was in Martha Marcy May Marlene, and this movie felt like part two of that movie in the creative process.  The same camera style, same scenes, same role, same look as in MMMM.  This movie was intended to be a scary one, and if you have seen any scary movie, this is more of the same, but not too terrifying.  This is a remake of a previous Silent House.

There were gripping moments as we watch this young lady at this new home with her father.  She finds herself relatively confined and frightened due to the noises and "other" presence in the house.  The cliche surprises are a disappointment.  Olsen does have some very gripping moments and brings some serious distress to her character and viewers as we watch her anxiety levels.  Honestly, I hope Olsen gets a legitimate story and production to show viewers what she is capable of.  She can act, but the retardation of her potential due to the story and role assigned is frustrating.  Until this opportunity is presented, she will forever be the twins' little sister.

When I find I am more entertained playing Words with Friends and Draw Something on my iPhone during a movie, it leads me to give a low review and score to the film I am due to review.  Silent House will pull a low 2 out of 5 Cyclones.

-CycloneMovies.com

Hunger Games - The New Twilight

The Hunger Games first installment was worth paying for.  Let me begin there.  Even though it had the acting along the lines of Twilight (only better); the costumes from Too Wong Foo; the scenery and cameras from Truman Show; and the feel of Minority Report, this was a new movie and adaptation to the book.  If you have read the book, and enjoyed it, don't hold your breath. It seems to be a story of the 13 colonies (in the US) and their two senators fighting for their lives!  (or am I reading way too much into this story, lol)

The movie provided a good story line, expedited by some quick scrolling text prior to the movie, and some hasty editing for the final product (we still are left with 2 hours and 22 minutes of movie.)  The crowd was engaged with emotion, we cringed, and even jumped at some of the scenes in this PG-13 blockbuster.  If only it had an R rating, the scenes and language could have been more genuine and intense.  We get a moderated version of what could be better.

There is little to fault in the film.  It is easy to follow, embraces love, companionship, survival, poverty, life, and an overall "Survivor" game show feel.  America will love it!

Hunger Games can pull 4 out of 5 Cyclones on a stretch.  Do it. Go see it.  Enjoy the movie.


-CycloneMovies.com

Friends with Kids - terrible viewing, even for white folks who like typical dramas

Not good.  Forced acting.  Forced story. Even those who like a good drama like 50/50 or Descendants, don't expect the same from this.  Well expect it as I did, and leave disappointed, like I did.

There were tense moments where we were fully on board the bipolar roller coaster, and yet they all fell short and put us back into the dirty wash we were hoping would end.  As each new scene rolled onto the screen I was devastated the movie was not ending.

This is a story about a male and female friends, who are not dating or romantically involved, who want to have a baby to help their own future sex lives.  Of course we can all foresee some of the potential problems, and all the writers did was put it on screen for us to watch.

FWK will pull a disappointing 1 out of 5 Cyclones. No bueno. Sorry.

Casa de Mi Padre

Will Farrell speaking Spanish for an hour and a half....priceless.  It is along the lines of Blades of Glory humor for him, not the Old School humor.  But ALL audience members slapped their chairs and LOLed at least a few times.  All of the audience members were constantly chuckling at the intentionally tacky moments.  Whether they were at the editors' expense, the Americans' expense, or the actors' expense, we laughed.

It will leave some memories for the viewers.  New ways to make a movie, type of memories.  This is a situation where Farrell is a member of a drug trafficking family in Mexico with some well to do folks all the way down the line to the bottom of the barrel family members as well.  The interactions and improvisation with Casa characters was hilarious. 

This movie is not for all types of movie goers.  Go in with an open mind.  Enjoy it.  Go in with expectations for a standard comedy, you will leave very unhappy.  Casa de Mi Padre will pull 4 out of 5 awkward Cyclones.

21 Jump Street

Give the boys credit, they did good work in this film.  Hill and Tatum make an awkward and compatible combination as mediocre cops put on a grim detail at a local high school to find drug pushers.  The stories from their past, training, and present are all well done and give us laughs throughout the film.

Nothing will bring an Academy nomination, but the kids and adults can all find humor.  Good Spring film for all to enjoy.

With jokes, action (not the greatest action scenes, but more fun than serious), character, personality, and enough improvisation to choke a horse - we can give 21 Jump Street 4 out of 5 Cyclones.  This remake has some good memories.

The Descendants

Clooney isn't bad in this one. He acts and pulls off a great performance. This movie had the feel and emotion of 50/50, a movie from earlier in 2011. It was well done in the storytelling department and pulled some emotional strings. It had a bit of a soap opera feel at times, but the story and well done performances made the movie enjoyable.

It is recommended for the patient adult crowd, not so much for the youngsters. If you could enjoy J Edgar, then go enjoy The Descendants. The imminent death of a family member brings out the dysfunction as personalities in the family in this film. We get to see the struggles and fallout and even unity around the significant events in the film.

The Descendants will pull a worthy 4 out of 5 Cyclones. This drama has a bit of comedy and some abrasive language from the kids. Well done soundtrack as well.

The Sitter

The movie tried so hard to get of the ground. It doesn't. The lack of integrity in a film is shown here. Regardless of a few LOL moments, the movie drags kids and vulgarity through our minds, the feebly attempts to find some redeeming value in the last 15 minutes of a less than mediocre film. Hoping for some comedy and bloopers and interesting takes on babysitting left me (viewers) feeling neglected. Sorry fat Jonah Hill, hopefully the video game market will help your career, this movie did not. The Sitter will earn 2 out of 5 Cyclones.

Sherlock Holmes - Game of Shadows

No story to follow. First hour and a half are guess work as to what is going on. The editing and camera work is refreshing, but cannot salvage a junk film. Stretch after stretch, and inference after inference leads to discouraging movie watching. The The humor is enjoyable and costumes as well, but there is no connection with much of the film. The movie falls short in story and following. It does incorporate forethought, camera work, comedy, and action quite well. Unfortunatley, just not what was expected for round two in this series. Holmes pulls 2 out of 5 Cyclones.

Arthur Christmas is more about efficiency and timing

Not bad, but not the holiday fun of years past.  The movie was cute and not exceptional in 3D. The story goes on about the Christmas clan and their heritage and how times change, but the values shouldn't.  It was well laid out and kids can enjoy it while parents are not turned off.  The movie comes during a lull in the season, and was unable to hit a high note with myself and many other viewers. The typical response to the film was "Cute." If that is what you want, then go enjoy.

The one liners from Grandpa/Senior Santa were hilarious as well as a few others from the animated cast.  Some of us were on the floor laughing, which made for a great show.  But aside from some witty comments, the remainder of the script was left for the kids.

Yes it is appropriate for all ages. Adults will adore the older Santa and the resourcefulness and mind-slip moments. Others will enjoy the clean animation. A good story about family and Christmas. Arthur Christmas pulls a weak 4 out of 5 Cyclones. 

-CycloneMovies.com Critic

J Edgar is a big fat slow movie

The movie is way too toned down to really give an accurate portrayal of the man. More a made for TV type docufilm. The youngsters who snuck into this movie were quick to leave as they realized who J Edgar was in reality. Yes, he wore women's clothes, hated/loved men, and had mommy issues.  He was also vital in the creation of the FBI and instrumental in challenging civil and constitutional rights in this country.  He was a one man army, like Manson was a mass murdered. They wielded a big stick, but their hands were clean.

The movie was a bit too dull to keep the general viewer engaged. Most were willing to depart early for some In-n-Out or a better option. Those looking for some historical insight were left a bit high and dry. The acting was not worthy of any award nods. So we are left with a made for TV movie and two hours in the theatre where we feel we aged as rapidly as J Edgar.  The make up and transformation from young to old JEH was done exceptionally well. The time jumps were done well also. Wait for Redbox. This one pulls 2 out of 5 Cyclones.

-CycloneMovies.com Critic, ready for a nap.

Muppets - classic Disney Muppets

The classic Muppets are back.  If you think Elmo or Snoopy is a Muppet, then you will not enjoy this film.  If you are part of the 99% (Occupy movement) or anyone who grew up with or still loves the Muppets, then this classic will keep you in the seats and entertained.

The dance and music scenes may be a tacky as the new Footloose film's scenes, but given that this is a kid's movie, that is fine....the kids don't care.  There is one scene in particular that was great and that was the song and dance about "Me", but the rest are relatively simple scores. 

The Muppets are trying to save their old theatre, and they need a mere 10 million dollars to accomplish this feat.  They are battling a corporate oil tycoon for the rights to the property and theatre.  Will the be able to get a host and telethon together in time on a major network to raise the money?  That is our movie with the new Muppets production.

The characters are there and ready to roll.  The kids filled the theatre's seats at the screening.  The kids would have made the movie fun, but many of them were not laughing. They were merely glued to their seats watching.  I took this as a good sign. Maybe I was wrong.  Muppets is nothing to line up for at the theatre, but it will pull 3 out of 5 Cyclones for classic goodness.


-CycloneMovies.com Critic

Twilight - the new one

Tough to write a review on such a bad series/film.  Bad: acting, makeup, soundtrack, effects, scenes... Good: closing score, and Bella's had a great part in the movie as a corpse.

The opening HOUR AND A HALF will make non Twilight series lovers want their money back.  Feminists may also cringe at the abortion dilemma. Have no fear, this a tame PG-13 film made for the kids.  The wedding is tame and poorly done, the sex scenes are mild and uneventful, yet the birthing session in the last half hour was intense. 

Those not glued to the books were sleeping through the movie. The first time i saw it, i didn't care. The second time I saw this episode, I stayed awake.  The third time I saw it, I realized how terrible it really was.  It is like they are trying to find actors as terrible as Mark Hamil and Hayden Christensen (in the Star Wars series) to battle for worst actors in a major motion picture series! 

If you are a tween who can text and play angry birds throughout the movies you usually watch, this is perfect for you and go be detached from yet another film you can tell your friends you saw and know nothing about it.  If you want a quality film with some value, then see ANYTHING else.  Merely to appease the 'Clones in love with the series, Twilight will pull 2 out of 5 Cyclones.


-CycloneMovies.com Critical Critic

Like Crazy - drove viewers crazy.

Terrible.  From start to finish, it was like seeing a (long-distance) Facebook relationship through the eyes of those too old to use Facebook, but given terrible scripts to work from as well.

Avid movie goers were walking out of this movie.  Critics were sleeping and texting on their phones.  This movie was about a couple, cheating on each other, getting married, facing immigration problems, and unable to reconcile any aspect of their lives.  The young man in the film makes furniture and engraves the phrase "Like Crazy" on a chair he makes for his fiancee, seriously. Sounds like there could be a story, but there was not.  It was complete garbage. 

The acting and writing was so pathetic.  The camera work was choppy and cut every 15-20 seconds to a new scene where the young couple is continuing the exact same conversation. Made me want to vomit at each ongoing conversation and each camera cut.  We were hoping for an ending, and when that ending did come, we were even more disappointed with it! 

The parents in the film did well in their roles, but nothing else (except the negative feeling left towards the US Immigration policies) was left to desire.  Like Crazy will pull a soft 1 out of 5 Cyclones.

-Critic for CycloneMovies.com