The Debt - Helen Miren is Jewish?

Yes, Helen Mirren puts on another accent and pretends to be someone she is not for another movie this year.  She has done better.

It is a very focused and narrow film.  The subject is retaliation against a Nazi surgeon by an Israeli "correctional society."  A trio of agents locates the surgeon and this is the story/lie about the events, with some superfluous love stories tossed in.  It is a drama, it is not a Bourne Identity type of action, Helen Miren and Tom Wilkinson are too old to do that sort of action picture, and the young versions of them were too in love to really put much action into the story.  The film falls along the lines of "Munich" and "The Kingdom" and emphasizes the dramatic aspect.

We get what we came for.  The film does not put Jews or Nazis on a pedestal, and it takes a while to get going.  We enter with an open-mind and leave with an open-mind.  Not much is filled in.  An overall enjoyable drama, but not one to spend the night talking about or reminiscing.  There isn't enough historical significance to keep history buffs engaged either.  With a refocus on a specific audience, there was Oscar potential, but with the way it is delivered, we are left hanging.  Enough storyline and deliver and the unpredictability and unique fashion in which the story comes together will pull a very strong 3 out of 5 Cyclones for "The Debt".

Our Idiot Brother - He is almost one of our brothers.

If you are looking for the next Woody Allen film, this feels like it.  A funny transition from the standard raunchy comedies of the summer, to a truly funny film.

Idiot brother, Ned (Paul Rudd) is the lead, and has plenty of help from an amazing supporting cast of actors and actresses.  Without their help, the movie would flop.  As a cohesive group, we laugh and identify with every brunette in the film.  Not enough to rival casts like "The Fighter" but enough to make us focus on the film and not just one standout lead. 

It seems Ned is a marginal genius as opposed to an idiot.  His honesty and agile lifestyle allow him to adapt to any role and situation.  He has some wonderful moments in jail, home, and at work which few of us will relate to, but all will enjoy.  Good adult laughs and smiles will come across your face for the hour and a half you are sitting in front of the screen. We want to see Ned fail, but love to see him succeed.

Yes, go see it.  Our Idiot Brother was not screened in Sacramento, but the small budget film feel and intimacy will make you glad you spent the money to supported it.  Our Idiot Brother will pull 4 out of 5 Cyclones.


-CycloneMovies.com Critic

Fright Night - the only thing frightening is paying 10 bucks to see it

There is nothing enjoyable about Fright Night other than hearing the quote, "Jerry? That is a terrible vampire name." and the end credits rolling.

There were some fun moments and interesting twists for vampire and horror film lovers, but the overall writing, CGI, and acting is not worth paying to see.  Colin Farrell can't salvage the movie. He may have been able to perform had he been given a better role and script.

Movie goers won't get frightened or entertained during this saga.  Go see "Don't Be Afraid of the Dark" for some quality horror fun, or better yet, wait for the next "Twilight."  A mere 1 out of 5 Cyclones.

-Cyclonemovies.com Critic

Columbiana - should not have have been allowed to immigrate to US screens.

The "Columbiana" story can be seen on CNN any night of the week with the mayhem in the world, and you can save time and money by skipping the theatre.

The acting, soundtrack, action, and story are played out and lack unique elements.  We watch a girl from a savage environment attempt to avenge the murder of her parents.  She was entertaining to watch as a child, but enter her adult character, Zoe Saldana, and many viewers will quickly lose interest. The action is cut and paste, the explosions are over-exaggerated, and the acting seems to be a product of an overzealous movie executive attempting to get some silver screen time with what they could round up from the B-list of actors during the slow movie months. 

This movie is along the lines of "In the Line of Fire", "The Mechanic", or "Hanna", but even if you enjoy those, this one (Columbiana) lacks enough depth to compare. We knew going into the screening (given the timing and season of the film) we must prepare for a disappointment, with that in mind, we got what was expected. "Columbiana" will pull 1 out of 5 Cyclones.

One Day - don't waste one minute on this.

Poorly done love stories are as unbearable as poorly done horror films.  This dramatic love story was a horror film. No, a tragedy. Wait, it just was lousy.

It is like watching "Groundhog Day" and "Lake House" but without humor or drama.  If they had cut the annual reunions (the 15th of June year after year for way too long) to just a few better scripted encounters, then we could have left with no memory of the movie as opposed to negative memories.  It comes as little surprise the screenings were so spread out and missed many of the lesser markets.  The studio must be hoping some people won't read any of the reviews and will simply want to see a love story as opposed to the recent horror films being released.

Skip this love story and stay at home with the "Notebook", "The Sweetest Thing", or "Message in a Bottle" and keep the box office in check.  Another tragic week in general for new releases, "One Day" will pull 1 out of 5 Cyclones.

-CycloneMovies.com Critic

Dont' Be Afraid of the Dark - or to pay a few bucks to see a good horror film.

A fairly predictable, candid horror film that rivals the other new horror films being released.  I'm not a fan of the horror genre, but I had a good time with this one.

I appeared to be in the minority with my liking of this movie.  The security at the event may have been more frightening and unpredictable than the movie.  Sit in your 6.1 surround sound theatre at home or a well laid out theatre and enjoy.  We are given a standard schizo type little girl as the lead, some quirky parent too detached to raise her appropriately, and silver / boxy flashlights that nobody owns anymore.  The "creatures" are  animated similar to those in "Priest" for whatever reason. This is a TV movie remake and even with the limited characters and settings, we get a full hour and a half of engagement.

You will jump, laugh, cringe, and close your eyes.  Bring a significant other to cuddle with and share a tub of popcorn.  If you enjoyed "The Shining" "The Innocents" or "Poltergeist", then grab a ticket and enjoy "Don't Be Afraid of the Dark."  Just don't get it confused with the miserable production known as "Fright Night," AKA a non-Twilight vampire movie worth skipping.  "Don't be Afraid of the Dark" will pull a stretch with 4 out of 5 Cyclones.


--CycloneMovies.com Critic--

Conan is a killer.

Hollywood should be ashamed, and Arnold can look at this and be relieved his version isn’t the only failure on the books.  I would rather be decapitated by a dull sword than have to sit through this dull movie again. 

This review will take a different approach.  I will indicate the issues in sequence and just know it will not be positive from any angle.  The opening was too quick and actually a bit complex, but the 3D effects in the opening minutes were post production heaven.  While overloaded with gladiators/barbarians, death, swords, and blood, we are left lobotomized.  We are well aware of what we are going to get from the previews and the studio’s posters, yet flock with blinders on to the theatre seats with hopes of something meaningful, another failure.  It is like watching Hanna as an adult male.  There is merely rural violence and family issues.  Conan was a savage kid and warrior, but the bulk of the character stops there.  The movie was too dark to be done in 3D.  Viewers will be forced to remove their glasses to be able to see the screen.  Over 90% of the movie is in 2D anyway.  There were plenty or ridiculous costumes and makeup, dull sound editing, lousy sets, and very few intelligible lines leading to an unbearable viewing experience. 

Conan’s most notable line of the movie, “Woman, come here!”  Conan’s lack of charisma and merit is comparable to Arnold’s performance in the previous version.  One of the lead evil-doers looks like Lil’ Wayne.  The movie isn’t even a ‘fun bad’ like “FD5” or “Scream 4”, it is plain bad.  Conan will pull 1 out of 5 Cyclones, and that is a courtesy Cyclone for at least allowing us to see the movie for free as a screening;  hence, saving us ten dollars on a movie ticket.

-CycloneMovies.com Critic

30 Minutes or Less - stay for it all

30 Minutes or Less

LOOSELY based on a true story, only in the real story, the news catches the guy blowing up on camera.  That wasn’t funny.  This movie was.

This is a nice drift from the average guys or gals night out of debauchery and sexual inhibition we have seen so far this summer.  Danny McBride and Nick Swardson are loveable evil-doers.  While Eisenberg and Ansari are the working class 'typical Joes' caught in the middle.  McBride and Swardson are out to entomb a harsh rich militant father, and they are using Eisenberg and Ansari to earn money by robbing a bank while their garage made bomb is strapped to pizza boy Eisenberg’s chest.  We enjoy the characters of all four of the leads and the supporting cast in “30 Minutes or Less,” while paralleled with comedy, car chases, and inconveniences. 

If you enjoy “The Town,” “Takers,” “Hangover,” “White Irish Drinkers,” or others along these lines, then sit through this one with a tub of popcorn and a date.  If you want a meaningful movie, go see 50/50, this one is for fun.  The language and violence gives is a valid “R” rating.  Not recommended for the youngsters, even if accompanied.  “30 Minutes or less” will pull a strong 3 out of 5 Cyclones.

-CycloneMovies.com Critic

The Help - it doesn't need much.

“The Help” is a necessary story being told, and it is not too soon.  The movie/story goes above and beyond the standard oppression tales we get on tv and the big screen.  It is more than what is expected.

The cast of women deliver.  Some are stronger than others, but all deliver equally in their important roles.  We are given a story spanning from the 1940s-1960s.  Although the images may be confusing and we may not be sure when the events are taking place, the movie was 2.5 hours of engaging drama.  The story focuses on the black maids working for the zealous whites in the South.  There are stories of the wars, separate-but-equal mindset, mounting civil rights protests, and social stratification. The images and props may not all fit the timeframe of the film, and it did take away (caused confusion) from some of the enjoyment of the story.

If you enjoyed “The Color Purple”, “Forrest Gump”, “The War”, or “Driving Miss Daisy”, then settle in for The Help.  Kids and adults can all get something valuable and memorable from this time in front of the  big screen.  “The Help” will pull 4 out of 5 Cyclones.  Some Academy Award nominations are due for the ladies in this film.

-CycloneMovies.com Critic

Final Destination 5 - we have finally arrived

Final Destination 5

Amazingly vivid death and dying scenes coupled with cheesy acting is the foundation for the fifth installment of the "Final Destination" series.

We are drawn in and allowed to forget the less appealing #3 & 4 and brought full circle back to something more enjoyable. no foreshadowing and ruining the eventual inevitable death scenes allows us to enjoy the shallow storyline in #5.  Why do the things in this story happen and who are the characters? We really don't care. We just want the 3D (or 2D) gore, and we got it.

If you are a fan of the movies like "Scream" and "Final Destination", or maybe you just like a graphic soap opera, grab a seat for "Final Destination 5".  If you want depth and a movie with some social value, skip it and go see "The Help" or "50/50".  It is tough to find faults in this genre, but it is not meant for the kids due to the language and horrific images.  The 'R' rating is valid. FD5 will pull a terribly wonderful 4 out of 5 Cyclones.

-CycloneMovies.com Critic-

The Change-Up, doesn't change much up

Yes, another one.  This is the same genre and story of comedy we have seen all summer, but it is fun.  The final edit of this film is a coarse R film, but that is what we want going into the movie, right? 

Ryan Reynolds is made for his role in “The Change-Up,” and Bateman fills in nicely as well.  There are raunchy images and profanity and plenty of “OMG,S?” moments to text and tweet about during the movie.  If you have seen the other guys and girls time out movies this summer, you have seen this one as well.  There was steady laughter throughout the movie and the crowd was surprisingly engaged and in their seats for the entire film.  We liked it. 

The two guys get their lives ‘switched up’ while breaking the seal, in a fountain, on a night of drinking.  They have to hear and adjust to each other’s lives while they try to get things switched back.  The paradox if their lifestyles and personalities becomes crystal clear as the stories unfold.  The women in their lives are hilarious to observe and relate to. 

If you want a date night movie, this might be just fine.  If you liked “The Hangover”, “Bridesmaids”,  “Crazy Stupid Love”, “Something Borrowed” and others along this line of movie titles, then pay the ten bucks and go see “The Change-Up.”  If you can wait for Redbox or Netflix, then I would encourage you to save the money.  A solid 3 out of 5 Cyclones for “The Change-Up.”

-CycloneMovies.com Critic

Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Slow and consistent.  The movie starts and ends slow.  The “characters” are well animated and developed from start to finish.  Fans insist the film it true to character and exactly what they were looking to see. 

If you are expecting something from James Franco, he ruins the human element of the film.  They could have put some other star in his place (ie, Mark Hamil or Hayden Christensen) and the role would have been equally as disappointing.  The reason viewers can relate to the apes in this film is that the human actors and elements were so unlikeable.  Apes were great, actors were miserable. 

The animation, you ask? Well done.  The CGI was done on the apes from beginning to end and allows the consistency and continuity we did not get in recent films like “Popper’s Penguins” and others.  The kids at the movie had no idea the apes were animated, which is fantastic.  The adults see the development of the apes and the growth of Caesar (lead ape/chimp) in particular and can appreciate the timespan of the setting and the movie.  It is set in San Mateo/San Francisco/Marin County and that local element also helps with appreciation of the film.  If only a hippie had helped the apes cause a gas line explosion during an earthquake while on the Caltrain could we have had a closer connection…too much, too soon?

The Apes are rising to the top through genetic testing and medications using Alzheimer’s as a backdrop.  The animal abuse and recent chimpanzee attacks are brought to light and depicted in this 105 minute, PG-13, sci-fi saga.  Those who enjoy the other Planet of the Apes movies will clearly enjoy this one.  Even those not wrapped up in the story over the past few decades should get something out of “Rise of the Planet of the Apes.”  We see the groundwork laid out for the next installment, but hopefully with a new lead human in Franco’s place.  This movie can only pull 3 out of 5 Cyclones, for Franco failed to evolve into anything worthy, and animated monkeys cannot sustain the full film. 

-CycloneMovies.com Critic