Beastly Review

Beastly

“Beastly” is a love story set in current day New York.  Alex Pettyfer is the male lead Kyle Kingston, Vanessa Hudgens is the female lead as Lindy, Mary-Kate Olsen is the witch Kendra, Lisa Gay Hamilton as Zola, and Neil Patrick Harris is the blind teacher Will.  The film takes place in a large house or confine as the abominations are more-or-less secluded from the public’s eyes. 

“Beastly” is a modern day “Romeo and Juliet” meets “Beauty and the Beast.”  There are the pretty ‘have’s” and the externally not so pretty “have-nots.”  The stunning Kyle is running for Green Committee President at his prep academy and is quite degrading to the outsiders.  His father has instilled some hostile views about looks, public perception, and social standing.  These views flowed into his everyday life and during his speech he was quite offensive and Kendra cast a spell on him to make him externally shameful and required that he get someone to say they loved him within a year to reverse the curse.  Alex ends up begin drawn to Lindy and follows her discretely throughout her days.  She was one of the outsiders from his prep school and would never have had a chance with Kyle (who goes by the name Hunter once in seclusion) until the curse was upon him.  He writes undelivered letters to her.  He later encounters her father trying to protect her and he shots some gang members.  Kyle takes Lindy into his secluded spot for protection with the permission of her father.  The love story rolls out at this point.  At the hideout there is Will who is hired to teach Kyle and not be afraid of the way he looks, and Zola who has lost her family and is there as the hired help.  Kyle learns many lessons about life and himself as the months roll by.  Will and Lola are “insightful” and provide much of the nurturing his father neglected to give him.

The movie is perfect for the “tween” age group.  There are an abundance of morals and personal revelations viewers will uncover as they sit through “Beastly”.  A quote by Lindy says a lot for the lessons in the movie and this critic’s feelings, “I guess this cage set me free.” Good wholesome moral lovestory - absolutely. Good movie, editing, lead performances  – no, but thank you Doogie Howser and Mary Kate for giving us something to enjoy.  The rest of the production should have been cut out.  Alex Pettyfer must have an amazing agent, because his performances lack much talent.  Take your kids to see this and watch it with them.  If you are in college or at least old enough to drive, keep looking over the movie menu for something else.  Let me digress even further:

The movie was horrible.  I realize that if I complain about the “Beauty and the Beast” aspects of “Beastly” it is like complaining that “Chicago” was a musical and is a cold city, or that Halle Berry wasn’t naked enough in “Swordfish”.  We just gotta take the movie for what it is worth.  If viewers want to see a watered down version of a Twilight love story, then go rent the second installment or see “Beastly,” both are equally as disappointing.  Simple movie, simple story, works well for tweens and Bieberphiles who want to text, talk, and cry through the film. 

The PG-13 rating is even a bit rough.  Many kids under 13 could see this with their parents and be just fine.  There is nothing very graphic or offensive to make parents want to turn their kid’s head away from the screen.  The editing was horrific, but the big picture was there.  Fans of Twilight, Notebook, I Am Number 4, Lake House, and Edward Scissorhands may enjoy “Beastly”, not that I am chalking this up to the levels of any of those films.  Wait for the DVD.  “Beastly” earns 1 out of 5 Cyclones.

Jeremy Brickner

CycloneMovies.com