Muppets - classic Disney Muppets

The classic Muppets are back.  If you think Elmo or Snoopy is a Muppet, then you will not enjoy this film.  If you are part of the 99% (Occupy movement) or anyone who grew up with or still loves the Muppets, then this classic will keep you in the seats and entertained.

The dance and music scenes may be a tacky as the new Footloose film's scenes, but given that this is a kid's movie, that is fine....the kids don't care.  There is one scene in particular that was great and that was the song and dance about "Me", but the rest are relatively simple scores. 

The Muppets are trying to save their old theatre, and they need a mere 10 million dollars to accomplish this feat.  They are battling a corporate oil tycoon for the rights to the property and theatre.  Will the be able to get a host and telethon together in time on a major network to raise the money?  That is our movie with the new Muppets production.

The characters are there and ready to roll.  The kids filled the theatre's seats at the screening.  The kids would have made the movie fun, but many of them were not laughing. They were merely glued to their seats watching.  I took this as a good sign. Maybe I was wrong.  Muppets is nothing to line up for at the theatre, but it will pull 3 out of 5 Cyclones for classic goodness.


-CycloneMovies.com Critic

Twilight - the new one

Tough to write a review on such a bad series/film.  Bad: acting, makeup, soundtrack, effects, scenes... Good: closing score, and Bella's had a great part in the movie as a corpse.

The opening HOUR AND A HALF will make non Twilight series lovers want their money back.  Feminists may also cringe at the abortion dilemma. Have no fear, this a tame PG-13 film made for the kids.  The wedding is tame and poorly done, the sex scenes are mild and uneventful, yet the birthing session in the last half hour was intense. 

Those not glued to the books were sleeping through the movie. The first time i saw it, i didn't care. The second time I saw this episode, I stayed awake.  The third time I saw it, I realized how terrible it really was.  It is like they are trying to find actors as terrible as Mark Hamil and Hayden Christensen (in the Star Wars series) to battle for worst actors in a major motion picture series! 

If you are a tween who can text and play angry birds throughout the movies you usually watch, this is perfect for you and go be detached from yet another film you can tell your friends you saw and know nothing about it.  If you want a quality film with some value, then see ANYTHING else.  Merely to appease the 'Clones in love with the series, Twilight will pull 2 out of 5 Cyclones.


-CycloneMovies.com Critical Critic

Like Crazy - drove viewers crazy.

Terrible.  From start to finish, it was like seeing a (long-distance) Facebook relationship through the eyes of those too old to use Facebook, but given terrible scripts to work from as well.

Avid movie goers were walking out of this movie.  Critics were sleeping and texting on their phones.  This movie was about a couple, cheating on each other, getting married, facing immigration problems, and unable to reconcile any aspect of their lives.  The young man in the film makes furniture and engraves the phrase "Like Crazy" on a chair he makes for his fiancee, seriously. Sounds like there could be a story, but there was not.  It was complete garbage. 

The acting and writing was so pathetic.  The camera work was choppy and cut every 15-20 seconds to a new scene where the young couple is continuing the exact same conversation. Made me want to vomit at each ongoing conversation and each camera cut.  We were hoping for an ending, and when that ending did come, we were even more disappointed with it! 

The parents in the film did well in their roles, but nothing else (except the negative feeling left towards the US Immigration policies) was left to desire.  Like Crazy will pull a soft 1 out of 5 Cyclones.

-Critic for CycloneMovies.com

Immortals - will have a short shelf life

Not going to cut it as a 300 follow up.  The effects were similar, but not as engulfing as they should have been.  The actors were not captivating either.

It was not a bad film, it just fell short of expectations.  This is a story of the Greek gods and their life cycles.  The gods were fantastic in their roles.  The humans were not as convincing (irony there?) While the digital effects seemed a bit rushed and lacked the luster many may expect, they still gave a life like feel.  It is difficult trying to write a positive spin on this film.  The story seemed a bit of a stretch to put together, but the end left us feeling we came to a completion.  The first 2/3 of the film is where we feel we are not getting out money's worth.

There is blood, violence, and horrific animation scenes throughout the Immortals film.  Do not take your little one's to see it.  Do not expect a story in Greek mythology either, as the story was choppy and insufficient.  But do go for the animation and fight scenes.  Seeing this one in 3D is a personal preference. Tough pull, but Immortals will pull a weak 3 out of 5 Cyclones.


CycloneMovies.com Critical Critic

In Time

JT finally has a role where he should step up his game and give us a show.  But all he does is bring us a bunch of pretty people in a movie with a strong social/moral base, and a PG-13 rating.

He has to have time to live. All society lives and ages to 25, then they are given 365 days to live past that point, without aging.  They work tirelessly to earn that extra hour or minute.  Their society is stratified into sectors. The slums see death, the bourgeoisie see hours logged on their wrist-life meters.

The story plays out and is not always predictable.  The kids get a great story to follow.  Adults can feel comfortable seeing the film with their kids or letting them attend alone. A well done film for a rough time of year.  Makes you think about your social priorities a bit. Maybe even the Occupy crowds can show/see/understand it and occupy their theatres in protest.  We will drop In Time 4 out of 5 Cyclones. 


-CycloneMovies.com Critic's Review

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The Rum Diary

It doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but it is a prequel to Fear and Loathing (in Las Vegas).  This is a Hunter S. Thompson film.

What is going on? Why doesn't Johnny Depp improvise and entertain like in all his other movies? Why does it seem like I am missing part of the story? ...and so on... We all have these questions. The story is well written and played out.  The actors (Ribisi, Depp, Jenkins, etc) play profound, yet subtle roles across the board. This isn't set up to allow one character to run the show, they all compliment each other.

The location and writing and portrayal of the movie is all fantastic, but as a humble viewer, I left feeling a bit empty for lack of a better word.  This is a Jane Eyre or Matrix type movie that you want to keep playing out and to have it continue for a few more hours.  We are engulfed and entertained, but only mildly.

Now, if the review helps you decide to see (or not see) the movie, I have failed to do what i set out to accomplish. Yes, see it. It may not win the big Academy Awards, but it is one of those you need to see, either on the big screen or via Redbox will do. 4 out of 5 Cyclones.


-CycloneMovies.com Critic

War Horse

It watches like Gone With the Wind and a Broadway performance on a green screen; however, it was enjoyable and the 2.5 hour story was fantastic. The trailers are not what we see for the big picture.

No Oscars (I hope, or it would be like the English Patient all over again) but a strong PG story told about war horseys in WWI Europe.  The horses go through many hands and trials.  The stories of each stop along the way are enlightening and easy to follow.  We have quite a few short stories in a very long movie and some of the characters get lost along the way and stretch to tie back in at times....but don't worry, you will get your money's worth.

I was apprehensive about writing a good review, but understanding a bit more about the background of the play/movie, and watching it for the non-hollywood elements made things easier.  The horses are not trained by Buck Branaman, but they are merely Hollywood horses born and raised for this role.  They too help tell the story the actors could not.

Check it out, 4 out of 5 Cyclones for a feel-good Spielberg movie about horses...I can't help it.


CYCLONEMOVIES.COM CRITIC

Tower Heist

When Mission Impossible meets Oceans 11 and Blue Streak we get Tower Heist.

Eddie Murphy does not redeem himself as an actor in this movie.  The writing gave him some good lines, but he is still past his prime.  Ben Stiller and the laughing squad bring us plenty to enjoy to make up for Murphy.

The mission is to recover embezzled money from a shady boss.  Stiller is the ring leader and Alan Alda is the bad boss.  Stiller assembles a crack squad crew of yahoos to try and find the missing money the feds were unable to locate in Alda's accounts.  This is their story, and they kept most of us guessing the next step and the outcome.

Funny, entertaining, simple to follow, but bit too much profanity to make it a family film (standard PG-13 words).  Worth watching, but not a must see in theatres.  It can be enjoyed on any medium.  Tower Heist pulls 4 out of 5 Cyclones.

-Cyclone Critic